ALCOHOL WARNINGS

The government have decided that young women are not getting the message on
excessive drinking. So a special think tank hove come up with some new message that will
shortly be appearing on alcohol contains.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened
to your bra.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you
are not.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over
again that you love them.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really
dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse
with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu
powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see
something really scary.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on
the forehead/knees.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher,
smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH
you.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space
continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.