The genie …

A woman is walking along the beach when she stumbled upon an old looking bottle. She
picks it up and rubs it, and lo-and-behold a Genie appears. The amazed woman asks, “Do I
get three wishes?” The Genie replies, “Nope. Three-wish from genies is the stuff of
fairy tales. You only get one wish, so what'll it be?”
The woman doesn’t hesitate. She says, “I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I
want these countries to stop fighting and all the Arabs to love all the Jews and viceversa.
It’ll transform the world and bring peace and harmony!”
The Genie takes a look at the map and exclaims, “Hey Lady, be reasonable. These
countries have been at war for thousands of years. I’ve been in this a bottle for five
hundred years and I’m a little out of shape. Is there something you could wish for that’s
a bit smaller?”
The woman thinks for a minute and says, “Well, I've never been able to find the right
man. So find me a man that’s considerate, fun, likes to cook and helps with the house
work, is great in bed, gets along with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time, and is
faithful. That's what I wish for a good man.”
The Genie thinks for a minute then lets out a long sigh, “OK. Let me see that map again!”
Q: Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
A: It's not real bright, but it's cheap, and spreads easy.
Q: Why do Greek men wear gold neck chains?
A: So they know where to stop shaving.
Q: Why do most women pay more attention to their appearance than to improving their
minds?
A: Because most men are stupid but few are blind.
Q: What are the three fastest means of communication?
A: Telegraph, telephone, tell-a-woman.
Q: Why don't women blink during foreplay?
A: There isn't time.
Q: What did the brothel closed sign say?
A: Beat it we are closed.
Q: Why is it always difficult appearing in front of the media?
A: Wouldn’t you be worried appearing at a Stress Conference!
Q: What have a condom with a hole in it and a rattlesnake got in common?
A: Its bet not to screw with either of them.

Q: What do Saddam Hussein and Miss Muffet have in common?
A: They both have Kurds in their way.
Q: Why does the Iraqi navy have glass bottom boats?
A: So they can see their air force.
Q: What’s the difference between an optimistic Muslim and a pessimistic one?
A: One looks on the “Sunni” side of life and the other says its “Shi'ite!"
A guy is talking to a pal about a lean spell in his love life, “You know” he says,
“If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.”
Husband: “Want a quickie?”
Wife: “As opposed to what?”
Husband: “Come on, honey. I can't remember the last time we made love.”
Wife: “Well I can - and that's why we're not doing it.”
Wife: “Why don't you ever callout my name when we're making love?”
Husband: “Because I don't want to wake you.”