A “Dear Mom” Letter

Dear Mom,
Our Scoutmaster told us all to write to our parents in case
you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only one
of our tents and two sleeping bags got washed away.
Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on
the mountain looking for Chad when it happened.
Oh yes, please call Chad’s mother and tell her that he’s
OK. He can’t write because of the cast. I got to ride on one
of the search and rescue jeeps. It was neat. We never
would have found him in the dark if it hadn’t been for the
lightning.
Scoutmaster Webb got mad at Chad for going on a hike
alone without telling anyone. Chad said he did tell him, but
it was during the fire so he probably didn’t hear him.
Did you know that if you put a gas can on a fire, the gas
can will blow up? Billy is going to look weird until his hair
grows back.
Scoutmaster Webb is a neat guy. Don’t worry, he is a good
driver. In fact, he is teaching Terry how to drive. But he only
lets him drive on the mountain roads where there isn’t any
traffic. All we ever see up there are logging trucks.
Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges.
When Dave dove in the lake and cut his arm, we got to see
how a tourniquet works.
Also, Wade and I threw up. Scoutmaster Webb said it
probably was just food poisoning from the leftover chicken.
He said they got sick a lot that way with the food they ate
in prison.
I’m so glad he got out and became our scoutmaster. He
said he sure figured out how to get things done better while
he was doing his time.
I have to go now. We are going into town to mail our letters
and buy bullets.
Don’t worry about anything. We are fine.
Love, Johnny
P. S. How long has it been since I had a tetanus shot?