ACTUAL QUOTES FROM ACTUAL PRODUCTS

On a bag of Fritos:
”You could be winner! No purchase necessary. Details
inside.” (The shoplifter special.)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: ”Serving suggestion:
Defrost.” (But it’s just a suggestion.)
On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box):
”Do not turn upside down.” (Too late!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
”Product will be hot after heating.”
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: ”Do not iron clothes on
body.” (But wouldn’t this save more time?)
On Boot’s Children’s Cough Medicine: ”Do not drive a car or
operate machinery after taking this medication.”
On most brands of Christmas lights: ”For indoor or outdoor
use only.” (As opposed to what?)