Rules of the Air

This appeared in the June issue of Australian Aviation
Magazine...
1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.
2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If
you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless
you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get
bigger again.
3. Flying isn’t dangerous. Crashing is what’s dangerous.
4. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you’re on
fire.
5. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to
keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch
the pilot start sweating.
6. A ‘good’ landing is one from which you can walk away. A
‘great’ landing is one after which they can use the plane
again.
7. You know you’ve landed with the wheels up if it takes full
power to taxi to the ramp.
8. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps
talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite
direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains
have been known to hide out in clouds.
9. Always try to keep the number of landings you make
equal to the number of take offs you’ve made.
10. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum
going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going
zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.
11. It’s always a good idea to keep the pointy end going
forward as much as possible.
12. Helicopters can’t fly; they’re just so ugly the earth
repels them.